I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
