so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize