apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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