yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
