we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
