Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
