...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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