i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
