Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I need to stop coming to work sober
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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