oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
