I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
