North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
