I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
