This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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