If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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