i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
