there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
