And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
