I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
