dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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