I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
