i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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