All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.