I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen