Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
