There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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