But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pants are for mortals
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
