I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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