I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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