Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize