So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
