You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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