im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
