the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
