we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sext me about skeletons
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
