The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize