My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
