he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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