I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
