i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
