I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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