new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
