I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
