i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
