guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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