im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
