i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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