I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You made out with two different species that night
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
