Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
