I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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