i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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