belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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