Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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