Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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