I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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