what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
