im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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