New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
