how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
