i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
