69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
